If We Only Die Once
by karevsprincess
Summary: "Amanda Clarke, will you marry me?" Missing moment from the series finale. Jemily, one-shot.


**A/N** : That. Finale. Was. _Perfect!_ I went into the episode prepared for the worst and by the end all my dreams for the show had come true. Jack and Emily got married, Nolan is happy...I was sad David died, but I was expecting it. With how bad his cancer was, I knew his days were numbered. And at least Emily (or I guess I should say Amanda) got to spend more time with her father and knows he was proud of her. And could I please, please get a Nolan spinoff where he does a revenge plan every week and Jack and Amanda come to visit him sometimes? I could go on about how much I loved that finale, but I should probably stop myself there. Since we didn't get to see Jack propose and I was having major Jemily feels today, I wrote this in between classes. Just so you know, I refer to Emily as 'Amanda' in this since that's what Jack calls her in the flash-forward. It felt a little weird, but I guess I'll get used to calling her that. Enjoy and please review if you do - the more positive response I get, the more likely I am to write more Jemily in the future.

Title and lyrics come from one of my favorite songs, "Something I Need" by OneRepublic.

 **Disclaimer** : Even though _Revenge_ ended exactly how I wanted it to, I still don't own it.

* * *

 _I had a dream the other night_

 _About how we only get one life_

 _Woke me up right after two_

 _Stayed awake and stared at you_

 _So I wouldn't lose my mind_

 _._

 _And I had the week that came from hell_

 _And yes I know that you could tell_

 _But you're like the net under the ledge_

 _When I go flying off the edge_

 _You go flying off as well_

* * *

The sharp wind immediately nips at his face as he steps outside, the March weather a startling wall of cold. The warm Southampton climate shifts to bitter temperatures almost as soon as the calendars turn to December and it continues until almost April, which is why the tourists usually only come from June until September. It's never bothered him though – he likes being in town when no one else is around. It feels more like he's home then, instead of just being a spectacle for sunscreen-coated couples that have seen his girlfriend's face on the news.

He walks down towards the beach and that's where he finds her – the wind whipping her hair, her jeans rolled up to below her knees as she stands with her bare feet along the shoreline. The waves roll in systematically but the water doesn't faze her, her gaze unflinching as she stares at the horizon. For a moment he pauses on his way over and just looks at her. Even like this - no makeup, hair a mess, cheeks pink - she's beautiful, so beautiful he can hardly believe that a woman like her could possibly love him.

She notices his presence before he can make himself known, her expression softening when she sees him. "Hi," She says, her voice sounding soft and far away as another tide rolls in and the waters crash loudly. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long, just enjoying the view," He says as he finishes the walk towards her. He recoils when he feels the water graze his left foot and immediately pulls it back. "That's freezing. How can you stand it?"

A wistful smile crosses her face. "My first summer here my dad taught me that if you anchor your feet in the sand you'll get used to the water. It works." Her smile fades and she glances down at her feet, buried in the ground. He touches her shoulder gently, knowing that's all he can do.

It had been two months since her father died, on the coldest day of the year nonetheless. Initially, the grief had hit her hard. The loss of the dad she had just gotten back had obviously had a great affect on her. But slowly but surely she'd come back to life. After the funeral, she'd actually turned to him and laughed, asking him if she'd ever told him this or that story about her father before. He'd listened to every one and even though most of them were things he already knew, he hung onto every word with as much interest as if it was the first time. It wasn't hard for her to talk about David anymore, but she was still grieving. This was a wound that would never completely heal. All he could do was be there for her and he fully intended to, forever.

"Did you know David came to visit me in the hospital?"

She smiles. "Yeah, he told me. He never did say what you two talked about though. I asked him but he said it was a surprise…"

Jack looks away for a second, knowing this is his moment. Ever since the two of them had gotten out of the hospital and David had been released on compassionate release, he'd been trying to find the right time to do this. She'd been so preoccupied with her father's condition – and then subsequently his funeral arrangements – that he'd always put it off. But now, Emily – err, Amanda, he's still getting used to calling her that again – is looking at him expectantly, and he knows this is the moment. She's ready to move on, and she's been waiting so long to have her happiness. And if he can play even a small part in giving her that happiness, he's going to do it. Right now. "I had a question for him," He answers, his eyes turning from the sea back to her.

A strand of blonde hair is blown across her face and she pushes it aside before he can. "What kind of question?"

"I asked him if he approved," He begins vaguely. "Of us."

Her brow wrinkles in confusion. "Of course he approved of us. You know he's always liked you, Jack. Ever since he first met you. Why would you think he wouldn't approve of us dating?"

He sucks in a deep breath. The box feels heavy in his pocket and he slips his hand inside, his fingers clenching around the velvet exterior. "I wasn't asking him if he approved of us dating," He says. "I asked…I asked if he'd give me his blessing, to marry his daughter."

Amanda's eyes go wide, her gaze following him as he slowly kneels down in the sand. He can feel another wave come in and soak the fabric that covers his bended knee, but he doesn't care. The look she's giving him as he takes her hands in his is all he can think about. "I love you, Amanda. I always have. All of this has just made me realize how important you are to me. I know the future is uncertain, but if there's one thing I know for sure it's that I never want to be without you. I don't want to waste another moment." He pulls the box out of his pocket and pops it open, revealing the ring, and he hears her sharp intake of breath. "Amanda Clarke, will you marry me?"

The seconds it takes for her to answer feel like the longest moments of his life. Her brown eyes flick from him to the box in his hand and back again and her lips are parted slightly, like she's thinking about what to say. "...Oh my God. You're serious?"

He laughs nervously. "I'm dead serious, and I will not get up from this spot until you answer me, even if I have to wait until high tide comes and washes me away."

Her eyes fill with tears and it catches him by surprise – if anything, he thought he'd be the one to cave and cry first. "You really want to marry me?" She whispers, her voice hoarse like it gets before you start to cry.

Jack nods affirmatively. "Nothing would make me happier than getting to call myself your husband."

She looks away from a moment and when she turns back she's both laughing and crying at the same time. "Yes," She says emphatically. "Yes, I will marry you."

He laughs too and stands up, not looking away from her stunning grin as he pulls the ring out of its box and slips it on her appropriate finger. "It's so beautiful," She says, transfixed by the band of gold that now adorns her hand.

"I was hoping you'd like it – David said he thought it was your style."

Amanda's eyes meet his, a look of pure awe on her face. "I love you so much, Jack Porter."

He smiles and captures his fiancée's lips in a kiss. "And I love you, Amanda Clarke."

* * *

 _I know that we're not the same_

 _But I'm so damn glad that we made it_

 _To this time, this time, now_

 _._

 _You got something I need_

 _Yeah in this world full of people there's one killing me_

 _And if we only die once I wanna die with you_

 _If we only live once I wanna live with you_


End file.
